Tanta plata!

I'm not rolling in the dough by any means down here in Chile, but I do have a hefty bunch of coinage laying around, and I'm trying to rid myself of it.

What do you do with your monedas when they get to be montanas? Here are a few ideas:

1. Invest in some bling.

Various websites can help show you how to turn those pesky 100s into cool looking jewelry, like rings, or turn those pesky 1 peso coins into cool earrings. All it takes is a hammer, some drill bits, and lots of patience. If you're stuck with an old 1000 bill, why not laminate it and make a cool-looking bookmark?

2. Make money grow trees.

Ok, not literally, but any copper based coins, when placed into a vase of flowers (along with a sugar cube) help your florals stay fresher for longer.

3. Use them for small purchases.

If you're okay with getting the stink-eye from the metro kiosk attendant, you might want to load a mil onto your BIP card with 10 or 50 peso pieces. I count them out beforehand and put them in a plastic baggy. Make sure to go at a time when you're not in a rush...and neither is anyone else.

Also, corner stores often will take a 1,000 peso bag of 10 peso coins, but make sure you do this very de vez en cuando.

4. Avoid them in the first place.

Some grocery stores ask if you want to donate small bits of change to charities or to bomberos. It's doubtful that these organizations actually receive all the money, but hey, it leaves you with less change kicking around the house, and it makes you feel good, too.

Buying a 790 peso muffin at Castano? Getting some 250 peso coffee from the vending machine at work? BRING YOUR MONEDAS!

5. Act like a kid.

Why not make a wish? Fountains at Plaza de Armas, Plaza Italia, Cerro Santa Lucia and the square near Universidad Catolica make great scenic places to make a wish and hope it comes true.

Feel like a cheap afternoon out AND pleasing your pololo at the same time? Go to the arcade at a movie theater or play some coin slots at the casino.

6. Find collectors.

Like any country, Chile has its share of rare coins. The most prevalent error was in 2008 when the government minted a bunch of 50 peso coins stating that the country's name was "CHIIE," not Chile.

Chilean coins also contain a fair amount of gold - older 100 peso pieces have .5886 ounces. Perhaps lugging a bunch of them home and having them melted down might not be such a bad idea.

7. Exchange them for dolla dolla billz, ya'll!

If you are a cliente of a bank (or have a friend who is) you should separate your coins into denomination (in the case of 100 peso coins, separate the old and new ones) and bring them to the bank. Like the subway station, be aware that you are going to get MAJOR stink eye for doing this, but most banks now have coin counting machines that will separate coins out. The problem here, aside from major stink eye, is that you must deposit the earnings into the cliente's account - so, unfortunately, you won't be able to walk out with cash.

I think the best thing, if you wish to go this route, is to do a two part trip: first, go to the bank without the coins, but tell them that you are going to come in and deposit a large amount of coins into your account. Make sure that branch has a coin counting machine - if they don't, ask which branches do. Then, arrange a good time with the tellers where you can come in and deposit the coins (ask when they are normally slowest). This way, at least you are showing that you're trying to be considerate. I cannot guarantee, however, that they will be equally polite.

Good luck to all you change luggers! I'll let you know how my coin drop goes.

Have any other tips? (Is there a Coinstar in Chile that you know about?) Post them in the comments box!

The Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

It's that time of year again - time to breathe in deeply, suck in my stomach, and fake tan my way into looking a few pounds thinner. Time to face the fact that the medium sized bikini I ordered from Target isn't going to fit my non-medium-sized badonkadonk. Time to haul ass to get rid of all that junk inside my trunk.

You'd think I would have had plenty of time to prepare for Santiago swimsuit season, between studying for the GRE and working two jobs. You'd think I would have had the self-control to limit myself to only ONE raspberry truffle cake pop a day. But let's face it: I'm an americana gordita.

Looking around at who's hitting the sand, at least I can say I'm in good company: Santiago's blubber layer (my new cute euphemism for "obesity rate") has thickened to 26.6% of the population. So what to do when you're a beached whale?

While my previous answer would have been to buy a more flattering bathing suit, the brown vintage-style tankini I chose apparently didn't cut it with my Peruvian bonbon, who recently sent me an email comparing side by side a photo of me in the bathing suit and a photo taken in the 1940s of a woman sunbathing in similar trunks. I got the picture that I was playing it too conservative.

Seeing as the forest fires in central Chile have limited the extent to which I can go running lately without developing the black lung (or, more seriously, the Hanta Virus), I've turned to Google and Groupon in the desperate hope that maybe I can fake my way into looking and feeling slightly thinner aside the sea. I am now here to share with you the tricks and tips I've learned to lock down a Brazilian booty this summer without breaking the bank OR a sweat:

Crunch Time

Remember 8 Minute Abs? If you've never seen the video, do yourself a favor and illegally pirate it from YouTube. Research shows that just a few minutes of exercise before an event can help you shed a few inches for a few hours. Other quick temporary fixes? Drink tons of water, eliminate salt, carbs, and foods that contain or make you gassy for two days prior to your hitting the beach.

Fake it Till Ya Make It

Just as wearing black makes you appear slimmer, a good fake tan can help you fake sculpt you into an Adonis look alike.

If your level of pasty white, like mine, approaches being Geisha colored, I'm sure you have more than a few horror stories to tell about fake tanning products and weeks spent looking like a glass of Tang. However, a new product I tried last week from Lush (Mall Parque Arauco), at approx. US $16.00 /

heart shaped bar, gave me one of the most natural looking tans I've ever had. Just be careful to pick up the "clara" version if you have light skin!

Tips on fake tanning and on sculpting your body with fake tanning products can be found here at Marie Claire.

Stand Tall

Who knew that when Grandma told you not to slouch that she was secretly letting you in on one of life's most sexpot important lessons? Proper posture can shave inches off your midsection and arms, no exercise needed. There are even photo friendly positions that you can try out the next time your friend waves his camera in your face at the beach.

Let Me See That Sarong

Every woman has a part of them that they feel extra obsessively bad about. For me, it's my thighs. Luckily I found a sweet looking sarong (pareo) at Casa e Ideas (they can also be found at the artesanal shops near Santa Isabel, the ones near Plaza de Armas, or, you know, ANYWHERE in downtown Santiago for about $10 or less). Tips for tying them can be found here in broken English.

Hit the Massage Parlor

Groupon keeps guaranteeing me that for anywhere between US $30.00 - US $120.00, I can lose centimeters (up to 3, usually) from my waist in minutes. All I have to do? Lie on my back and let some masseuse oil me up. I have friends who have done this and swear by it, though quite frankly, I think the results were mostly in their head. I've been trying to Google research on how well massage therapy helps you lose weight, though I have found nothing convincingly conclusive, although some research suggests that acupuncture might help with weight loss by increasing your metabolism rate.

Any other tips or tricks you have to add? Leave them in the comment box!

Back!

Oh, hello, Friend!

How lovely it is to wake up with news from you! Everything you've been doing sounds so cool and interesting. I guess it's my turn to catch you up with my return to Chile!

My first week back in Chile could be described a few ways - in waves of homesickness, in heat waves (back to a very blisteringly hot summer!) - but perhaps is best encapsulated in my culinary escapades.

Chile is still a land of raw materials, with the very little that comes prepackaged set at costs beyond my current means of living. It's nice because it allows me to get crafty and experiment.

Experiment one: No bake cheesecake.

Thesis: If the lack of Graham Crackers in Chile can be offset by their abundance of generic vanilla cookie wafers, then I can make a pie crust.

Process: Long and arduous, especially because I had my friend Alvaro in charge of crushing the vanilla wafers into tiny tiny pieces, and he took a cigarette break approximately every five minutes.

Outcome: ALMOST successful - however, I did not buy enough cookies to make much crust, and then somehow managed to unplug my refrigerator in the process, so the cake unfortunately died overnight from natural causes.

Experiment two: Grinding coffee in a blender.

Thesis: If Nescafe tastes like such shit, then ANYTHING I can manage to brew out of real coffee beans will be better.

Process: Fairly short and incredibly loud, with possible damage done to the blades in our blender (at least it got some use; I can't remember the last time we hauled it out, but it was probably to make something alcoholic). Boiled water and put the whole beastly mess into my french press.

Outcome: .....watery. It was like water coffee with lots of milk and sugar. But then I adjusted the water/bean ratio and this time it didn't end up so bad. I also just managed to drip some of the new batch on our recently cleaned couch, so allow me a minute to clean that up before Erik has a coronary....

hahahahaha ok.

Experiment three!: Beer battered fried chicken.

Thesis: If I have a Betty Crocker cookbook, then I can effectively be Betty Crocker!

Process: Sending Erik to the store during the soccer game so I can turn it off and read in peace; boiling a liter of oil on the stove. (Turning my wok into a deep fryer was very scary, though successful. Things to consider: potential tastiness vs. potential third degree oil burns all over my body).

Outcome: Finally, sweet success! The chicken was crunchy and tasty and everything fatteningly good about America, AND we have leftovers!

Also, my first day back involved lunchtime AND dinnertime sushi!

Last week I went to a house party with Alvaro and his Swedish cousin, Erik, who was visiting the Chilean fam. Very often, the old style mansions that are littered about Santiago have been transformed into something called "collectives": groups of young people who rent out the house together and live in shambles. This particular mansion had six bedrooms, two bathrooms, and thirteen tenants.

Anyway, one of the tenants has a pretty big bank debt due to student loans, so she decided to throw a charity concert for herself! We all bought "tickets" to the show, food and drink, and basically had a group jam session and danced all night. One guy had bagpipes and I taught a group of Chileans how to do the Beginner's Jig. It was so much fun - very relaxing and silly.

What else? Oh, I finally saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Brilliant! I think the best one so far, though I was disappointed that the strand of disease warfare wasn't more strongly picked up on in the plot line. But all in all very amusing, especially the fight sequences, and that bit on the train :) I wish I could have seen it with you!

I hope you come to visit soon, but for now I promise I'll keep up with my blog so you can know what's going on down here! Chile, of course, is ever changing, and I always find something new and cool about the country.

Hope you are well! Glad we're back in touch!

CUECA FEVER!

I am jonesing for a bit of this action:

And Sting agrees with me!

Serial Friendships: The Solitude of Being an Ex-Pat

When Steven Colbert joked about being Jimmy Fallon's BFFSM - Best Friend For Six Months - I thought it was funny for about three seconds. Then I realized that this is my life.

My writer friend Brittaney came back to Santiago this week for a quick winter-break bum on the couch. Except for the people who continued on in Santiago, I haven't kept in touch with any of my fellow CIEE-ers since they departed back into the wide wide world. Brit and I were talking about her new life in Lima, where she has created a whole bunch of new BFFSM - and perhaps a few WEFSM.

But it was the completely bizarre story she told me about the bunch of Peruvians who pathologically make friendships with the people who pass through her apartment building that got me thinking about how flimsy friendships abroad can really be. Cue background: Brit found out via Facebook that a party was being thrown at her apartment building by thirty Peruvian strangers. Turns out they've been partying with her company's interns (who change every four months) for over a decade. If this wasn't freaky enough, when Brit couldn't find the chip bowl (logical seeing as she'd only spent a week in her new crib) there were a handful of people she had never seen before who new exactly where it was.

So, what do we base friendship on? How long does it take to make a really good "friend"? Do we really need strong friendships in our life to survive and be healthy, sane individuals? And how do all these factors translate into an experience abroad?

In her article "Expat Friendships: Do They Survive When You Return Home?" Mary Richardson writes about friendships abroad as being symbiotic - they thrive on an "interdependence...[her] friends abroad take on a different role [than friends at home] and dramatically impact [her] adaptability." Mary states that making expat friendships while in Okanawa were the only way she could adapt - change to incorporate a new life. However, I find it strange that in the article, it is her Japanese friend who really helps her learn and understand Japanese custom and behavior, while her expat friend merely is who she goes to when she needs a good dose of American pie (and by American pie, I mean reassurance that she isn't, well, turning Japanese).

I often wonder if maintaining expat friends in Chile is a help or a hinderance to my acceptance of Chile as a potential home. A few weeks ago my (expat) roommate, Jackie, and I invited a coworker, Monica, out to sushi. Monica has lived in Chile for two years now after marrying her Chilean boyfriend of 8 months. She has slowly learned to hate Chile. Like the somewhat stereotypical friendly Americans we are, we decided she just needed a good dose of friendship to get her out of her funk.

You can imagine my surprise when, on the walk to the restaurant, Monica bluntly confessed that she "really didn't see the point in making American friends anymore" because "they all just leave after six months anyway." Monica's sad confidence left me dumb. I saw my life stretching lonely before me in a series of six-month serial friendships, learning just enough about other expats to create an interdependent and somewhat parasitic relationship, where each of us sucked the other into a souless incapability of true cultural immersion. If I allowed myself to think all the time like Monica, I'd probably hate Chile, too.

So, how do I solve the balancing act of reassuring myself that I haven't lost the American in me - the part of me that could "struggle with the language, homesickness, and public transportation" and "vent frustrations and joke about funny aspects of [a foreign] culture" with Mary - while still really losing myself in Chilean life?

Monica's solution - ditching serial friendships - could be one answer. My Chilean friends certainly aren't going to desert me by flying far far away. But, as I believe Monica feels, the deeper I wade into Chile, the more truly confused I feel about who I am. I have found that my cultural identity as an American has been an incredibly difficult thing to alter; my attempts at shredding culture have left me feeling stripped and fearful. Not having friendships with other Americans feels like a betrayal of myself, because I feel that part of being human is finding the essential parts of ourselves mirrored in others. And, stuck in a foreign country, I feel like one of my big identity themes has become that big red, white and blue "A" I metaphorically wear. Being American is my targeted different-ness, and really is the first thing Chileans see in me.

That's the other part of the "ditching serial friendships" dilemma: I'm not the only one who has a say in labeling me. Even if I were to weona'o with the best of them, Chileans would always mark me as an outsider. Short of pulling a Michael Jackson and changing my skin tone, even if I were able to ditch my accent, I'm always going to at least look gringa. So, ditching the American and adopting completely Chilean attitudes is, I'm afraid, out of the question for me.

But it is true that too much time spent with my American friends does make me feel like I'm in a "Chileans vs. Americans" binary that doesn't exist. I don't want to be Chilean, but it's also not my perogative to label myself so American that I can't accept their other-ness. Oh, and, there is a very strong heartbreak one experiences when their American buddies leave.

So you've got to put a little hot dog in your chorillana - be flexible enough to appreciate both Chilean and American friendships, no matter their duration. We need friendships to establish who we are in the face of an unfamiliar and constantly changing social universe; the more strange and unfamiliar our world becomes, any little bit of similarity will do. Friendships come and go as it is - they just come and go a bit faster down here. I guess you also have to essentially trust that the ties you make, if they are strong, will last beyond distance - that you always have some sort of safety cord waiting back home, reminding you of who you are - and that you are made of all the people who pass through your life. I'm sure we can all think of one encounter, however brief, that has changed how we see as well as how others see us.